David found because jonathan helped
David had a bad month one day that week.
While running from king-turned-madman, Saul, David found shelter with the very enemies of Israel, the Philistines. These are the same Philistines whose WWE champion (some guy named “Goliath”) David had dispatched with a rock and a borrowed sword just a few years prior.
Apparently the Philistines did not hold a grudge because when David was on the run from Saul, he found refuge with them.
As the ancients were wont to do, when killin’ time rolled around, the men went a-warrin’, and the women stayed home. David, ever the compliant guest, gathered his men and joined the Philistines in the hunt.
After three days of searching for those committing acts of indiscretion upstream from them, the captains of the Philistines decided they did not want David and his men tagging along for the fight. David might decide to align with those the Philistines were trying to destroy, and that would make for an extremely awkward battle plan. David and his men were sent home.
Having traveled outbound for three days, it took them three days to get back to their starting point which, when they arrived, they found to have been looted and burned.
When David’s men found their families kidnaped and their houses reduced to ashes, they were miffed. . . at David! These were men you did not want miffed at you!!
David’s property had been looted or destroyed.
David’s family had been hauled off by the marauders.
But none of that mattered to the men under his command. They had no sympathy for David’s plight. They were consumed with their own losses, and felt David was to blame.
David became concerned for his safety when he noticed some of his men eye-balling the stones lying about and then giving him the side-eye.
How would you feel? The Bible says And David was greatly distressed. . . (1 Sam 30:6). That sounds like a good starting place.
What would you do in that situation? Surrounded by warriors who have proven themselves more than capable of raining down whatever kind of destruction their peeved hearts might imagine, what would you do?
Would you appeal to their sense of empathy? “My family has been taken too!!”
Would you appeal to your position of leadership? “Ya know, the Bible is going to say, ‘touch not God’s anointed!!’”
Would you hope your camel could outrun their thoroughbred donkeys? “Clyde don’t fail me now!!!”
Here is what David did: But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God (1 Sam 30:6).
David got alone with Jesus! All by himself David was able to find strength to endure in the middle of an extremely terrifying situation.
It takes a lot of self-discipline to say “no” to the temptation to respond in fear.
It takes a lot of spiritual centeredness to remember Jesus when the forecast is calling for stone showers.
Where did David find the presence of mind to seek Jesus in the middle of the difficulty? Where did he find the determination to do the right thing when it would have been easier to do a thousand wrong things?
David remembered another time when things were not looking good and someone had taught him what to do in situations like this one.
David had been shown how to respond by the lived example of a friend.
It had been about a year since that day when David was, once again, running from mad-king-Saul. He had entered a walled city from which there was no easy escape. When Saul learned his prey was cornered, he assembled his forces and headed toward David’s compromised position.
But David escaped before Saul arrived and I love the way the ESV describes David’s destination: they went wherever they could go (1 Sam 23:13). They did not know where they were going, but they were going there in a hurry!
It is interesting to me that while David was constantly moving from one wilderness stronghold to another, Saul was not able to find him. But when Saul’s son, Jonathan, went looking for his friend David, he seems to have had no difficulty finding him in a place called “Horesh.”
Why was Saul not able to find David but Jonathan was able to find him with no real problem? It was because, God did not give him (David) into his (Saul’s) hand (1 Sam 23:14). The people of God may be chased, but until God allows them to be found, they are invisible to their enemies.
And when Jonathan found his friend David, what did he do? He “. . . helped him (David) find strength in God” 1 Sam 23:16.
I like the similar phrasing the NIV uses between David’s exercise when he was alone, But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God (1 Sam 30:6) and the way his friend, Jonathan, “. . . helped him find strength in God” (1 Sam 23:16).
There is something significant about the role of a friend in the life of a believer. The role of a friend who will direct us to Jesus and teach us practical skills for making our way through difficulties.
Jonathan did not glibly recite a Bible verse and walk away. He did not repeat some drivel he had read on a plaque at the local Christian book store.
No! Jonathan reminded David what God had already spoken concerning David’s future. "Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this" (1 Sam 23:17).
"Don't be afraid." Wow! What a way to begin a conversation! He knew the tactic of the enemy is to subdue us with fear.
Adam and Eve hid because, I was afraid (Gen 3:10).
The first ones who will enter the lake of fire are not the “unbelieving.” They are the second ones to enter. Revelation 21:8 gives the order as being, “But the fearful, and unbelieving. . .”
Jonathan addressed that beast which attacks us all: fear. And then he gave David the foundation out of which courage flows. He reminded David of God’s promise. You will be king over Israel.
How did Jonathan know that? Because God had said it, and it was in the dark time that David needed to be reminded of the Word of the Lord.
That is what a friend does!
A friend is the one close enough to have heard the Word of the Lord with you, has faith and courage enough to remind you of it in dark times, and humility enough to be able to say, “and I will be second to you.” There was no egotism on the part of Jonathan.
Only the willingness of a friend to speak the truth when it was most needed.
Who is your friend? To whom are you a friend?
Dr. Barnard was one of those guys I could not get enough of. I call him a mentor of mine, but I actually spent very little time with him. We met on a few occasions, but the few words he spoke were so filled with depth and wisdom, I have pondered them for decades now. His books were helpful, his letters were encouraging, but the proper placement of godly wisdom has been transformative.
And there have been so many others, some of whom are no longer directly involved in our lives. People who might not have had the depth of education which Dr. Barnard possessed, but whose words were a wellspring from the same deep waters which he drew from.
I lived with a couple when I was at university, Louis and Eleanor, who were absolutely ancient! She was 47 years old!! How she was able to remain upright at that advanced age was a source of astonishment for me! Hampered, but never crippled, by arthritis, lacking any formal education beyond high school years, limited by a Southern country mind set which tells people to “know your place and stay in it!”, Eleanor refused to buckle under.
She read encyclopedias and dictionaries, she pursued a bachelors degree at the University of Alabama in her 80's and she traveled the world teaching students how to speak English. Well, an Alabama version of English. And she spoke wisdom to me which changed my life. I made sure all my kids knew who Eleanor was because, when I was staring fear directly in the face, she was the one who spoke the word of the Lord to me: “Don’t ever be afraid to make friends with people no matter how short an amount of time you may live near them.”
Eleanor died in 2024 at 90 years of age. I will miss her.
I am thankful for the “Dr. Barnards” I have been privileged to know and be blessed by. But friends, the “Eleanors,” the every day people who have mentored/befriended me have had just as profound an impact on my life.
It is easy to think we are not qualified.
It is easy to think someone else will do a better job.
It is easy to think we can wait until someone comes looking for us before we go looking for others, but no excuse will be sufficient on that great day.
Though some will try, (“When were you sick, naked, hungry, in prison?”) there will be no skirting personal responsibility on that day.
We have a church here in Utah who expects every active participant in the life of their church to be involved in being mentored by, and being a mentor to someone in their life. What a wonderful expectation!
For every believer to be receiving from and pouring into the life of another is the very foundation of the Christian message.
2 Timothy 2:2 has seven generations of Christians represented in that one tiny little verse when it says: and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.
Four generations are obvious: 1) Paul taught, 2) Timothy, who was to entrust to, 3) faithful men, who were to, 4) teach others.
But when we remember Paul was discipled by Barnabas who was discipled (presumably) by Peter who was discipled by Jesus, we extend that lineage to seven generations of faithfulness.
Who disciples, teaches, mentors, helps you find strength in Jesus? Will you let that line of faithfulness end with you?
Who is receiving the benefit of your walk with Jesus?
It is really easier than you might realize.
Who do you spend time with? Who are you in a book club, a sewing club, a fantasy sports club, a golf club with? Everyone gets with SOMEone!
Who do you get coffee with? Who do you hang out with? Picture those people in your mind’s eye.
Now, get with them on purpose!
You already have a built-in congregation. Get with them on purpose!
“But I am stuck with these kids all day!” You are not stuck! They are your congregation!! Mentor them!
“But I am surrounded by a bunch of pagans at work who talk about everything BUT Jesus, and then I come home!” They may be pagans for now, but they don’t have to remain that way! And they just might be the perfect congregation for a pastor such as yourself!! After all, God placed you there for a reason!
Everyone of us already get with people. We all have our groups (or individuals) we relate to, we share a hobby with, we share work interests with, we share hospital rooms with! We all have SOMEone. What might happen if we were to view those people we are already surrounded by as the very ones to whom God has sent US?
And it doesn’t have to be weird. There are three simple steps to being a mentor:
1) Get with people. Check!
2) Bring up Jesus. “I heard this recently, I read this recently, what do you think about it?”
3) See what happens. If they shut you down, that’s fine. Just try the same thing with someone else.
When they rejected Him in one town Jesus was more than willing to head for the next town because He knew someone SOMEwhere would be willing to hear. So, He kept looking.
And if you do not have someone speaking into your life, can I encourage you to find someone who will?
“I don’t know who to ask!”
Here is a simple guideline: find someone whose life and spiritual walk you would like to have reproduced in your own life because, Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise (Prov 13:20). If the first person you ask tells you they can’t do it, do not take it personally and do not stop with them. Keep looking until you find someone who will, graciously, speak truth with you.
And don’t make the first meetings weird. Don’t ask them to give you all the wisdom they have. That can get really awkward. Just get to know them. Get a cup of coffee and talk about life. Ask about their life. Where they came from. What has shaped their walk with Jesus. They might not even realize the areas Jesus has already walked them through which will be the greatest encouragement to you.
When I get with pastors the first question I typically ask is, “How are you doing with Jesus?” That is a great question which opens an enormous door for conversation.
There are a thousand excuses to NOT receive and give life, but when we consider the people we are already getting with as possible mentors and mentees, our lives get a whole lot easier.
Only eternity will reveal how many generations have been encouraged to trust Jesus more because of your faithfulness today, but it is a future blessing well deserving of our very best investment today.
The church I mentioned which expects every member of the body to be in a mentor and mentoring relationship has five guidelines for mentoring.
1) The best way to start is to START.
I know you are busy and everyone else is busy, but what will matter most in 1000 years, who won the golf game, or the conversations had during the game?
2) Make mentoring a practical PRIORITY.
Every distraction will do its best to pull you away from the importance of receiving and giving, but if we view the mentoring cycle as a priority in our walk with Jesus, it will make it easier to ignore the distractions and give ourselves to helping others.
3) Never GIVE UP.
Some relationships simply will not work for this, and that is okay. Do not let one not working out be viewed as a failure. It is not. It is the process simply narrowing itself to those that are most beneficial for both. Text or call once a week. Get together once a month. You are not taking them to raise! You are building a relationship.
4) Let your meetings FLOW.
Do not demand or force feed spirituality. Many of the things I have received from those I have had as mentors have been off hand statements which they had no clue would impact me the way they have. The Holy Spirit is far more interested in your receiving and giving than you will ever be.
5) Mentoring is not ACCOUNTABILITY partners.
A mentor will hold the mentee accountable, but they are not expected to be accountable in return. They have those who are pouring into them. Just let them pour into you, and you pour into someone else.
Receive mentoring from any source you can. My books have been a major source of mentoring for me. But if all I do is receive but never give, I will become spiritually bloated and lazy. As we receive from those who have gone before us, and as we invest in those who are coming after us, we become a part of the continuum which is the Kingdom of God on the earth.
You became a Christian because someone who had received the message, shared the message.
You have received wisdom because someone who had gained wisdom, shared wisdom.
None of us want to be a cul-de-sac where everything flows in but nothing flows out.
As we “help (a friend) find strength in the LORD his God,” we equip them to be able to, days, weeks, months or years later, on their own “find strength in the LORD their God.”
If you have taken a step, you have a step to give.
Find someone who will help you with your next step.
Find someone who you can help with their next step.
And when we get to glory, won’t it be amazing to see how all the story lines are crossed, intersected and tied up in a great big bow?
What a day that will be!
- Robert Marshall